I wrote next to that quote in the book - "Walk through that, Lauren. Work that out." Really asking myself if I agreed with the statement - the heeding. I wrote in my journal that I believe I experienced a taste of what this means the past several weeks.
I experienced a taste of God, actually. I experienced being filled with the presence of the LORD for the first time...and might I say that I thoroughly enjoyed the way in which He chose to reveal Himself to me. I LOVE that He filled me with laughter, joy that i could not contain. It spilled out, overflowing, bubbling brook. He cracks me up! Really?! More than anyone, or anything, God makes me laugh and I am filled to overflowing with joy!
Okay - back to the point. I tasted God, I experienced God, I reveled in Him...and I began to pursue the things that His presence gifted without even realizing it.
He gave me joy, I began to pursue things that gave me joy.
He gave me freedom, I began to pursue things that represented "freedom" in my life.
He gave me laughter, I began to pursue laughter.
O, God, so quickly, so without noticing, I took my eyes off of you and focused them on the gifts your Spirit and presence bring. How good you are to me. So undeserved, to show me this now; to whisper kindly to me...before I am so far committed to the pursuit of the qualities of You, the characteristics of You, gifts of You that I have to struggle to come back to a place of longing for You and You alone.
It is You that brings life. Oh, how quickly I am prone to forget. You are the source, the portion that creates the complete circuit, the life flow that sustains. If I am to not merely survive, but live life in abundance, God how can I so precariously forget this Truth? My spirit wanes within me, overcome by the grievances this world has to offer. God from whichever angle one approaches it, through whichever lens one chooses to view it, false in everyway, the reality is still that this world has only grievances to offer.
YET - we will overcome, by the blood of the Lamb, yes. By the word of our testimony, yes. But even more so by the very life flow that comes from soaking in You. From resting in Your presence - in You and You alone.
O God, how could I ever doubt? How can I ever forget? The difference is comparable to that opposing relationship of black vs. white - the absence of all color, pigmentation vs. the presence of all color, pigmentation. (Interesting comparison choice - I'm comparing the presence of God to black, the absence of Him to white...but that makes sense doesn't it? Everything in this world upside down and backwards - oh, change it to a prism! - clear - the true absence of all color, yet when light is cast through - the presence of all color, displayed in perfect order - AGH!! That's even better!!! Oh my goodness, that's fantastic!) God is so...beyond! He is the Master Artist, and I love watching Him work.
