Monday, September 14, 2009

That Which My Soul Craves

"You were created for joy
You were created to bring life
You were created to show the way
I will do all of this in you
It is not of you
It is not by your means my joy in you is contagious
It is not by your efforts that I enliven the dead through you
It is not your path I point others to"

God, this life in so many ways seems overwhelming
Yet only when I ponder how it is that I myself will live it out
Only when I neglect to acknowledge you
All that you are
All that you have been
All that you will be

God, when I think of you in light of the work you have done
In me, through me
God, when I think of you in light of who you are
Who that makes me
Your joy returns to my soul

Is this really all it takes
Acknowledging you in light of history
The history that lies between You and me
It's our story isn't it
That's how you intended it
Not the story of humanity, godless in all its ways
Not the story of humanity's pursuit of love in all the wrong places
But instead, the story of the God that pursues
Relentless, beautiful pursuit

It's our story, You and me
It seems so selfish, I struggle with it so
That you would love me for me, just as I am
Rough around the edges - the least of them...all of them, every last one of them 
That you would really still have come for me, just me

I hear the voice in my head, mocking the love story
Mocking, belittling, scoffing
It has to in some way be about our best efforts, not just Your love
It has to
It can not simply be summarized in a word - love
There must be doctrinal stance, theological position
There must!

But I know the Truth, if not in my heart at least in that space between my ears, so inclined to believe the lie

What if it really is all about your love?
What if it is?
That changes everything, everything!
What if it really is about the life that flows from your throne, your open arms reaching out to embrace a humanity that wounds, destroys, kills

I am reminded of a word you gave me so long ago, the words that you daily impart
Your love changes us
It breaks us
It shapes us 
It makes us

You see us
You love us anyway
And we are free to dance

God, turn my eyes from myself
Make my striving cease
Only you can

I was created to love and be loved
You speak this over me, as my destiny
You create it in me, as my testimony
That though all this world had to offer denied me of the very thing I sought after most
In You, my God, my King, it was found.

What right have I to claim this love?
What right have I to deny it?
What right have I to seek it in any place other than you?
I sought it for so long of my own will, my own way
I sought that which my soul craved
And this world was found wanting

It is not here
It never will be
It is only in you
And there is nothing to fear
All that I crave is made up in all that You are

No man's affections can change it
No man's intentions can fulfill it
No man's praise can alter it
No man's degradation can dissuade it

I sought that which my soul craved
And this world was found wanting
For it is only in You, only in You

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